Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter!

Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter!

I know, I know, two posts one night! This one I couldn't wait to post though!

Tagline: The first testament says "an eye for an eye." - The second testament says "love thy neighbour." - The third testament ... Kicks Ass!!!

Plot Outline: Kung-Fu Action / Comedy / Horror / Musical about the second coming.

Plot Synopsis: The first testament says "an eye for an eye." The second testament says "love thy neighbour." The third testament KICKS ASS! The filmmaking team that brought you Harry Knuckles and won the "Spirit of Slamdance" prize with Harry Knuckles and the Treasure of the Aztec Mummy ups the ante with this tale of the ultimate action hero: Jesus Christ. The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight. Combining kung-fu action with biblical prophecy and a liberal dose of humour, the film teams the Savior with Mexican wrestling hero El Santos against mythological horrors and science gone mad, and also manages to address contemporary sexual politics. And did we mention that it's a musical? This sure ain't Sunday School.

Position of the Day: Sex Every Day in Every Way.

Position of the Day: Sex Every Day in Every Way!

Yes, you read right! All I want to know is how they got a copy of my diary ;)

Here's what the editors on Amazon.com had to say about it:

After all these years of thinking 69 was our lucky number, the perpetrators of Nerve.com's wildly popular "Position of the Day" have hand-picked 366 of their very best erotic scenarios into one gloriously chunky, deeply inspiring, and hilarious compendium. Yes, that's 366 - one for each day of the year plus a little something special for leap year! Illustrated with anatomically correct drawn figures, the positions run the lusty gamut from plausible to creative to Honey, get my weight belt, this is going to require some heavy lifting!

For beginners and the acrobatically challenged, there are accessible suggestions such as the Corporate Merger, the Wet Blanket, and the TV Dinner. Meanwhile, the adept and adventurous can try their hand at The Snow Blower, The Papoose, and the Quasimodo, which field-testing suggests is best attempted only after a vigorous round of stretching and a can of Red Bull. Position of the Day is about not becoming a creature of habit, because even the Excuse Me, Do I Know You? can get boring if that's the only position in your repertoire...

I also noticed that they are doing some mad combinations of books. If you buy this book you can get a discount if you also buy "Daily Sex : 365 Positions and Activities for a Year of Great Sex!".. I already have 366 positions to get through, what are the chances that the other 365 are also all unique!

You are not the one Neo(n)

Yes, some people call us slackers. I call us workaholics! Well, I guess I would, but between our new project (well, my main contribution was weeks ago, but Gambl0r's been working hos cute little ass off on it for the past few weeks), family demands and my job have conspired to keep me from searching for weird shit on the web. No, really! I haven't seen my son in three days because of early to rise, work late policies recently!

Anyhoo... Enough whining :oD

I said to Gambl0r earlier, "I must blog", and he ROFLed at me, so I had to think of something to blog. Which is difficult for me as my brain is addled! But I started thinking about last weekend when I wanted to remove an old light fitting from the kid's bedroom. Some cowboy electrician had fitted it, and I didn;t want it there. So, I turned off the trip switches to the upstairs lights, cut the cables, insulated them off and shoved them up into the attic. Turned everything back on and lo and behold, none of the lights worked upstairs! I had just cut the main live loop upstairs. Well, I got into the attic and fixed it all up (even though the attic was like something out of a 1930s horror flick with cobwebs everywhere), but it made me think I should have replaced the light with something more fitting for a 9-month old boys room...

...which somehow led me to look for vintage neon lights! Don't ask...

Anyway, I found this really tasteful example, that I am sorely tempted to buy! The classic Live Nudes neon sign. Isn't that just beautiful?

That led me to this so called Guinness Beer Pelican. It's a f***** Toucan! Get your beer branding right before you sell them! See the original signs here.

But this led me to explore more Guinness signs, which when combined with more modern styles, yields something like this Guinness Draught neon sign. Actually, This Seller has some really cool lights, so I'll forgive the fact that on one of the Guinness signs he calls Uncle Arthur Alec Guinness! Huh? Yes, drinking Guiness can have the same effects as a Jedi mind trick if taken in enough quantity, but that's going a little too far!

Anyway, I'll end with my two favourites for a boys, and a girls bedroom.

For the Boys, it has to be the Transformers Decepticon sign. Great for grown up Geeks too! Or so I'm told... Ahem!

And for the Girlz, the Hello Kitty neon sign. Awww :oD It's very close to that naughty little pussy(cat) collection of underwear and t-shirts someone posted about a while back. Which one of you girls posted about her cute little pussy? ...(cat!)

Guess what this is!?

Emotional Bond
Sensual
Fun!!
Small Luxury
Design
Sophisticated
Fashionable
Surprising and Unique
Why Not?

Any idea what I am talking about?

You're probably wrong you know..

It's the words that they use to describe the black toilet roll they are selling here!

This is such a strange thing to see for sale, Black Toilet paper.. What's the point? Why would anyone want Black Toilet paper?!

Answers on a postcard please (or a comment at a push!)

Funky Fuze LED Necklace

FUNKY LED Necklace!

OK A post for the ladies ;)! This is one of the funkiest pieces of jewelry I have ever seen.

From the thinkgeek.com site: "Each Fuze crystal is hand selected, shaped, and polished to ensure a unique and beautiful gem to adorn your neck. The crystal has an embedded LED that gradually cycles through a range of colors to create a totally unique fashion accessory. The glowing crystal is powered by small batteries in the ingenious magnetic clasp, and if you choose, you can wear it turned off for a simpler statement.

The Fuze is available in three styles: Natural, Teardrop and Mood Style. Each "Natural" stone is unique and the shape may vary from what is shown. The Teardrop and Mood Styles are more consistently shaped, with the Teardrop style shaped like, what else, a teardrop, and the Mood Style shaped like a slightly flattened pyramid. The Natural style also has a glossier finish than the Teardrop and Mood Styles."

I have to say if I saw this in a nightclub I'd be more than a bit intrigued!

Oh and here is another link for the ladies to waste some time on!

Geeks are sexy - I don't care what anyone says!

GAH!!

I had a great blog all written! It was witty, insightful, concise and the biggest post to date. In fact I have to say it was probably the best blog ever posted to the internet. Then what happens? My DAMN laptop froze!

I would attempt to recapture the magic of my original post but loosing such a piece of art was like loosing a part of my soul so instead I will just leave you with this splurge of my frustration and a picture that says what I have always believed.


(this also doubles as a t-shirt of the week post)

P.S. Just for NYM:

(The picture links to more :P)

Condom Tins.. Who'd have thunk it!

OK OK, I submit! Finally I will make a proper post!

Sorry about the lack of real updates recently, myself and Adeptus have been working on our latest cunning scheme! (We're still not ready to launch it officially and to be honest it'll probably be boring as all hell for most of you but we'll still post a little link when we launch so you can see what has kept us up all night NOT blogging..)

This blog is inspired by HDE's last post. She mentioned mint condoms (for that tingly sensation apparently?!) and I wondered if there would be any condoms for sale on eBay.. Needless to say there was but I also found:

Condom Tins!

Yes, that's right! Condom Tins!! They have some amazing looking vintage condom tins floating around eBay. I particularly like the "air tested" messages that some of them have on them, I have visions of a factory with hundreds of condom baloons being inflated for "testing" purposes. Classic!

One of the items I saw was a condom tin made to look like a portable ashtray with the phrase "Handy Andy" on the box. Soooooo funny.

I don't work here.

Our T-shirt of the eh.. Month.. Has been chosen to reflect the latest slacker attitude around here!

I Don't Work Here!

"Don't you hate it when you are at the local computer shop talking to one of your friends about the subtle benefits of DDR memory when some ignoramus walks up to you and starts asking you which aisle the Internet is on? Or maybe he says something like, 'how do I watch the latest movies on my MP3 player?'

If you didn't have this t-shirt, you would have to waste valuable breath telling this guy to bug off and find another hole to crawl in..

This shirt also works well when you are at the office playing Quake or Counterstrike instead of working on those TPS reports."

So, Yeah... Ehmmmm... What have you been up to then?

*Acts all innocent*