People sell some strange things!

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter!

2005-11-29T22:46:00.000Z

Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter!

I know, I know, two posts one night! This one I couldn't wait to post though!

Tagline: The first testament says "an eye for an eye." - The second testament says "love thy neighbour." - The third testament ... Kicks Ass!!!

Plot Outline: Kung-Fu Action / Comedy / Horror / Musical about the second coming.

Plot Synopsis: The first testament says "an eye for an eye." The second testament says "love thy neighbour." The third testament KICKS ASS! The filmmaking team that brought you Harry Knuckles and won the "Spirit of Slamdance" prize with Harry Knuckles and the Treasure of the Aztec Mummy ups the ante with this tale of the ultimate action hero: Jesus Christ. The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight. Combining kung-fu action with biblical prophecy and a liberal dose of humour, the film teams the Savior with Mexican wrestling hero El Santos against mythological horrors and science gone mad, and also manages to address contemporary sexual politics. And did we mention that it's a musical? This sure ain't Sunday School.

Position of the Day: Sex Every Day in Every Way.

2005-11-28T22:07:00.000Z

Position of the Day: Sex Every Day in Every Way!

Yes, you read right! All I want to know is how they got a copy of my diary ;)

Here's what the editors on Amazon.com had to say about it:

After all these years of thinking 69 was our lucky number, the perpetrators of Nerve.com's wildly popular "Position of the Day" have hand-picked 366 of their very best erotic scenarios into one gloriously chunky, deeply inspiring, and hilarious compendium. Yes, that's 366 - one for each day of the year plus a little something special for leap year! Illustrated with anatomically correct drawn figures, the positions run the lusty gamut from plausible to creative to Honey, get my weight belt, this is going to require some heavy lifting!

For beginners and the acrobatically challenged, there are accessible suggestions such as the Corporate Merger, the Wet Blanket, and the TV Dinner. Meanwhile, the adept and adventurous can try their hand at The Snow Blower, The Papoose, and the Quasimodo, which field-testing suggests is best attempted only after a vigorous round of stretching and a can of Red Bull. Position of the Day is about not becoming a creature of habit, because even the Excuse Me, Do I Know You? can get boring if that's the only position in your repertoire...

I also noticed that they are doing some mad combinations of books. If you buy this book you can get a discount if you also buy "Daily Sex : 365 Positions and Activities for a Year of Great Sex!".. I already have 366 positions to get through, what are the chances that the other 365 are also all unique!

You are not the one Neo(n)

2005-11-23T23:30:00.000Z

Yes, some people call us slackers. I call us workaholics! Well, I guess I would, but between our new project (well, my main contribution was weeks ago, but Gambl0r's been working hos cute little ass off on it for the past few weeks), family demands and my job have conspired to keep me from searching for weird shit on the web. No, really! I haven't seen my son in three days because of early to rise, work late policies recently!

Anyhoo... Enough whining :oD

I said to Gambl0r earlier, "I must blog", and he ROFLed at me, so I had to think of something to blog. Which is difficult for me as my brain is addled! But I started thinking about last weekend when I wanted to remove an old light fitting from the kid's bedroom. Some cowboy electrician had fitted it, and I didn;t want it there. So, I turned off the trip switches to the upstairs lights, cut the cables, insulated them off and shoved them up into the attic. Turned everything back on and lo and behold, none of the lights worked upstairs! I had just cut the main live loop upstairs. Well, I got into the attic and fixed it all up (even though the attic was like something out of a 1930s horror flick with cobwebs everywhere), but it made me think I should have replaced the light with something more fitting for a 9-month old boys room...

...which somehow led me to look for vintage neon lights! Don't ask...

Anyway, I found this really tasteful example, that I am sorely tempted to buy! The classic Live Nudes neon sign. Isn't that just beautiful?

That led me to this so called Guinness Beer Pelican. It's a f***** Toucan! Get your beer branding right before you sell them! See the original signs here.

But this led me to explore more Guinness signs, which when combined with more modern styles, yields something like this Guinness Draught neon sign. Actually, This Seller has some really cool lights, so I'll forgive the fact that on one of the Guinness signs he calls Uncle Arthur Alec Guinness! Huh? Yes, drinking Guiness can have the same effects as a Jedi mind trick if taken in enough quantity, but that's going a little too far!

Anyway, I'll end with my two favourites for a boys, and a girls bedroom.

For the Boys, it has to be the Transformers Decepticon sign. Great for grown up Geeks too! Or so I'm told... Ahem!

And for the Girlz, the Hello Kitty neon sign. Awww :oD It's very close to that naughty little pussy(cat) collection of underwear and t-shirts someone posted about a while back. Which one of you girls posted about her cute little pussy? ...(cat!)

Guess what this is!?

2005-11-09T11:50:00.000Z

Emotional Bond
Sensual
Fun!!
Small Luxury
Design
Sophisticated
Fashionable
Surprising and Unique
Why Not?

Any idea what I am talking about?

You're probably wrong you know..

It's the words that they use to describe the black toilet roll they are selling here!

This is such a strange thing to see for sale, Black Toilet paper.. What's the point? Why would anyone want Black Toilet paper?!

Answers on a postcard please (or a comment at a push!)

Funky Fuze LED Necklace

2005-11-04T11:13:00.000Z

FUNKY LED Necklace!

OK A post for the ladies ;)! This is one of the funkiest pieces of jewelry I have ever seen.

From the thinkgeek.com site: "Each Fuze crystal is hand selected, shaped, and polished to ensure a unique and beautiful gem to adorn your neck. The crystal has an embedded LED that gradually cycles through a range of colors to create a totally unique fashion accessory. The glowing crystal is powered by small batteries in the ingenious magnetic clasp, and if you choose, you can wear it turned off for a simpler statement.

The Fuze is available in three styles: Natural, Teardrop and Mood Style. Each "Natural" stone is unique and the shape may vary from what is shown. The Teardrop and Mood Styles are more consistently shaped, with the Teardrop style shaped like, what else, a teardrop, and the Mood Style shaped like a slightly flattened pyramid. The Natural style also has a glossier finish than the Teardrop and Mood Styles."

I have to say if I saw this in a nightclub I'd be more than a bit intrigued!

Oh and here is another link for the ladies to waste some time on!

Geeks are sexy - I don't care what anyone says!

2005-11-01T16:11:00.000Z

GAH!!

I had a great blog all written! It was witty, insightful, concise and the biggest post to date. In fact I have to say it was probably the best blog ever posted to the internet. Then what happens? My DAMN laptop froze!

I would attempt to recapture the magic of my original post but loosing such a piece of art was like loosing a part of my soul so instead I will just leave you with this splurge of my frustration and a picture that says what I have always believed.

(this also doubles as a t-shirt of the week post)

P.S. Just for NYM:

(The picture links to more :P)

Condom Tins.. Who'd have thunk it!

2005-10-28T10:54:00.000+01:00

OK OK, I submit! Finally I will make a proper post!

Sorry about the lack of real updates recently, myself and Adeptus have been working on our latest cunning scheme! (We're still not ready to launch it officially and to be honest it'll probably be boring as all hell for most of you but we'll still post a little link when we launch so you can see what has kept us up all night NOT blogging..)

This blog is inspired by HDE's last post. She mentioned mint condoms (for that tingly sensation apparently?!) and I wondered if there would be any condoms for sale on eBay.. Needless to say there was but I also found:

Condom Tins!

Yes, that's right! Condom Tins!! They have some amazing looking vintage condom tins floating around eBay. I particularly like the "air tested" messages that some of them have on them, I have visions of a factory with hundreds of condom baloons being inflated for "testing" purposes. Classic!

One of the items I saw was a condom tin made to look like a portable ashtray with the phrase "Handy Andy" on the box. Soooooo funny.

I don't work here.

2005-10-25T17:15:00.000+01:00

Our T-shirt of the eh.. Month.. Has been chosen to reflect the latest slacker attitude around here!

I Don't Work Here!

"Don't you hate it when you are at the local computer shop talking to one of your friends about the subtle benefits of DDR memory when some ignoramus walks up to you and starts asking you which aisle the Internet is on? Or maybe he says something like, 'how do I watch the latest movies on my MP3 player?'

If you didn't have this t-shirt, you would have to waste valuable breath telling this guy to bug off and find another hole to crawl in..

This shirt also works well when you are at the office playing Quake or Counterstrike instead of working on those TPS reports."

So, Yeah... Ehmmmm... What have you been up to then?

*Acts all innocent*

Death By Sex

2005-10-10T20:44:00.000+01:00

No, not me! Yes yes, we're still very bad and have been neglecting the Dr Strange Sales office, but things have been really busy! I swear!

Anyhoo, I made a quick foray into eBay-land to see what the weirdos selling stuff there have been up to. Nothing terribly unusual, but this appeal for help caught my eye. Basically, there's a poor little doggy who is addicted to having sex with a toy lion. His former partner, a stuffed donkey is terribly upset, and the little pom is afraid that he's going to fuck himself into an early grave unless someone takes this interloper away.

Some extracts:

"... I met my true love....Donkey. Donkey was perfect....the right height, the right weight, the right colors...everything was perfect. Donkey and I were the perfect couple. Then Lion came along. Lion was the perfect female. Yellow and red, flowing mane, rope legs..I could go on and on. Tempting as it was, I stuck with Donkey. But one day, I couldn't control my urges, and Lion and I consumated our relationship. I felt so guilty...but as Bob Schneider sings.."If it feels so good...it can't be wrong..." So....I turned to the dark side and I give Lion all that I have 5-10 times a day. I have been doing this for over a year and there is no sign of slowing me down. I know that Donkey watches from the toy crate and cries. But I don't care...Lion completes me."

Well worth a read! :oD

A noble and eminently worthy cause, but I'd want to be sure he washed the damn thing before I bought it!

Oh, and on the subject of Death by Sex, I thought I'd provide a Community Service Broadcast; the recipe :oD:

1 1/2 oz. Vodka
1/2 oz. Southern Comfort
1/2 oz. Amaretto
1/2 oz. Sloe Gin
1/2 oz. Triple Sec
3/4 oz. Peach Schnapps
Orange Juice
Cranberry Juice

Shake with ice and strain into shot glasses.

Not as good as the real thing, but close ;o)

Enjoy!

Rent-a-dildo! Ewwwwwww

2005-10-05T15:31:00.000+01:00

This has to be one of the scariest sites I have ever seen!

If you've ever heard of Intelliflix you'll know the kind of service this site offers but instead of giving you as many dvd rentals as you want for a fixed membership fee these guys give you a choice of hundreds of different types of dildos to rent.

And send back.

For other people to rent.

As if that wasn't enough they actually had to make a change in their policys and put this notice on their site:

"Effective immediately, we will cease lending anal sex toys to customers. This includes butt plugs, anal beads, anal probes, and dual-penetration dildos. If you currently have one of these types of rental toys, you may keep it without charge as a courtesy accommodation."

(That is just an excerpt.. There was more..)

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

*Gambl0r walks off acting like he hasn't been missing in action for ages...*

Missing, presumed, eh, busy?!

2005-09-22T14:34:00.000+01:00

In honour of the fact that we have been TERRIBLE with our blog this week I thought I'd post a "Missing Person Milk Carton" Costume I found.

Seriously though we've just been swamped. I've been working on a few projects both for my day job and some online stuff I've been wanting to do for an age and Adeptus has been left home alone and is slowly degenerating into a useless blob from what I hear ;)

Yes that's right! I've also thrown in a T-shirt of the week(?! yeah right, weekly my ass!) for good measure. This one is for anyone with kids, Adeptus I am looking at you here good buddy!
Daddy drinks because I cry..

A Breath of Fresh Air

2005-09-17T10:58:00.000+01:00

Things have been quiet in the Dr Strange Sales office the past few weeks. I was away in Germany, then had guests for a week here in Ireland, then had to get back into work, while Gambl0r has been working his (cleanly shaven) balls off on some projects.

Busy busy! So what better way to relax than taking a deep breath of some clean, pure Irish Air? Blowing in off the Atlantic to the west of Ireland, there's nothing to pollute the air for thousands of miles, as the next stop west from The Cliffs of Moher is New York!

Ok, enough of the bullshit. Yes, the air is beautiful. I should know, I spent years working in that area of Ireland, including months on the Aran Islands visible from the cliffs, but seriously, would people actually buy a jar of it? If so, would anyone like to buy a jar of Dublin air? I have a ready supply!

Totally unrelated: I was browsing all things Irish on eBay when I saw the words "Cock Capes". Thinking this was something Gambl0r might be interested in, I was disappointed to see they were for making flies for fishing. Oh well, I guess with a couple of rubber bands they could be adapted! :oD

Nipplicious

2005-09-11T19:11:00.000+01:00

Not all that strange, but I just wanted to post these anyway. I was browsing bmezine.com (I like looking at the tattoos and body mods, now there's some strange shit) and was looking at the nipple piercings, in particular, the nipple shields. I quite like the ones to the right here --->

And just to prove we are balanced in our views here, take a look here, or here, ow! You can get all sorts of shields on eBay and from our favourite online body jewelry store, Body Candy.

If you already have pierced nipples, these are probably no big deal, but if you haven't, aren't some of these really nice (and it was a good excuse for me to post that pic)! ;oD

Finally took the plunge

2005-09-10T15:06:00.000+01:00

I have finally taken the plunge and started to sell stuff on eBay myslef!

So far I have only listed one thing so I can see how it all works but I have a ton of records to start selling! My first one is a bit of a big one actually, it turns out I have a first print of a Beatles Album in excellent condition so I am hoping my first sale will be a good one!

Click here to have a look at my "For Sale" items!

There's Something About Mary

2005-09-07T19:09:00.000+01:00

There sure is! Ok, I didn't design this t-shirt, so apologies to any devout Catholics reading, but there's something about this t-shirt that appeals to me, even though I was raised as a Catholic (yeah yeah, being Irish there was a 95% chance of that anyway, but I tend towards agnosticism). Defninitely a "Worse than hell" shirt from T-Shirt Hell!

Anway, I think she looks cute, and not a little mischievous! ;o)

Laser Hair Removal outside of New York?!

2005-09-06T16:03:00.000+01:00

That's it, I am gonna give up!

After a hot tip from European I went looking for a personal laser hair removal device on eBay and finally found one that looked like it had some potential! I went looking for the makers site so that I could verify that I won't end up cooking any mini-mikes that are waiting to make it into the world at large but what did I find?

In the fine print on a page buried on the site it says that it can't be used in the genital region.. So I thought maybe there was a compromise to be had so I e-mailed them the following: "I am wondering if it is possible to use the Epila Laser Hair Removal tool on the shaft of the penis? I have been trying to find a method of permanent hair removal for the whole male genital region but seeing as that seems to be impossible is there any way it can be used solely on the shaft of the penis?"

So, it looks like I am going to have to wait till I have saved up the cash to go spend a month or two in New York getting it done professionally.. (Maybe I should also get some of my little soldiers frozen in advance too, just in case.. I am already worried about the heat from my laptop lowering any future off-springs IQ!)

Perfect Teeth

2005-09-04T09:36:00.000+01:00

Still in Germany suffering on a 56K dialup, but going back to Ireland tonight. ~Eyes, I didn't get a sunset picture, but I'll look through my back-catalog of pics when I get home and see if I have anything nice from Germany :o)

ANyhow, the point of this post: my son is 6 months old, and has has two bottom teeth since he was four months old. Pretty early! His top front teeth have come down now and the little shit keeps grinding them against each other. ***cringe*** Really sets my nerves on edge, a bit like someone scraping their fingers down a blackboard. Anyway, he never really took to a soother/pacifier, but I regret not buying one of these for my neice when I saw them in Boot Barn just outside Redlands CA (near enough San Bernardino, home of McDonalds) a couple of years ago. Billy Bob Pacifiers. Give's your little one the REAL hillbilly look. In fact, you can give the whole family the Deliverance look! I just love these :oD

T-shirt of the Week(?!)

2005-08-31T11:02:00.000+01:00

I know, I know, it's been WAY more than a week since our last one but hey.. Whatcha gonna do about it?

Anyway, this week we're getting into the "worse than hell" range of T-shirts and given the subject matter of our blog I thought this t-shirt was "appropriate"..

Too soon?!?

Fighting boredom

2005-08-29T16:36:00.000+01:00

This is a quick one from me, as I'm currently on a "working vacation" in Germany, and am trying to synchronise 6MB of mail over a 56k dialup connection! Why do people send me large attachments when I'm away? It's a pain in the ass! So, what would I like right now to relieve the monotony and stress? Something to make me feel in control, with just a little bit of masochism. No, not an anal plug on a chastity belt... but the rather more fun (ok, I don't really know if it is ore fun, but chances are...) CAT-A-PULT. Not for the cat lovers out there (sorry), this little device flings cats accross the room. It's a bit like a real version of the Clay Kitten Shooting game online.

This Seller has alot of what she describes as "weird" categories. Not really (but then we like really weird stuff), but there are some nice items. My favourites being the Pull My Finger GWB, Hindu Finger Puppets and the Jesus Christ Nodding Doll. Actually, there's a lovely Shiva Cigarette case there too... Have a root in the religous section there.

Right, my mail has finished downloading.. back to work!

Chastity one - ohhhhh - one

2005-08-24T20:25:00.000+01:00

Hehe, OK so today I am trying something a little bit "Naughty" for my blog.

Today I bring you the CB2000 Chastity Belt!

Yes, that's right I said a Chastity Belt.. Again I find myself wondering why anyone would ever choose to buy something like this. A device designed to ensure you have less sex than usual.

SO I decided to go find out a bit more about the subject (as one is want to do) and I found a page that has some details on why people would wear chastity belts, here's a selection:

The belt can be worn to prevent the wearer from Masturbating.

WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE CHOOSE NOT TO MASTURBATE! There is NO love like self love if you ask me. Don't get me wrong, I am a big fan of the beast with two backs (and lots of other great combinations) but even when I am getting it on a regular basis I STILL like to have the occasional "Handy Shandy". It's a completely different feel and I am sure it must be the same for the female of the species.

The belt can be worn to prevent the wearer from having wanted heterosexual sex. Also to prevent the wearer from engaging in heterosexual sex with someone other than their partner.

Anyone who buys a chastity belt to stop their partner from cheating needs to be taken out and shot. We've all had trust issues over the years, me more than most (I broke up with my "first love" the day I walked in on her in bed with my flat mate and then went on to find out that she had slept with a LOT of his mates for money) but actually getting your partner to wear a lock?!

The belt can be worn to prevent the wearer from recieving oral sexual stimulation.

See my last two points..

The belt can be worn to prevent the wearer from becoming erect.

This one sounds just plain horrible. I get my fair share of erections and have had the tangled boxers syndrome more than once and believe me it is very uncomfortable.. The idea of putting my little soldier into a cage and locking him up so that when the blood starts rushing to his head he has no-where to go?! Sounds like that horrible chinese feet binding tradition.. Ewwwwww.

Somehow I don't think this is an item I'll be buying anytime soon..

Funky dancing iPod iGuy!

2005-08-22T22:24:00.000+01:00

I'm still alive!! Seriously though I have been up to my ever so smooth testicles trying to fix some problems I was having with my web servers and it has kept me from doing anything else for WAYYY too long.. I have been dying to get myself dug into writing a blog but all I've had time to do is make sure my News, Movies and Salsa Dancing sites are all back up and running properly.. Not NEARLY as much fun.. So, what wonderfully funny item have I found to blog about today? None I am afraid... :(

I am still swamped with work so I've only really had time to dig out something I think is kinda cool..

The iGuy for iPod.

This guy looks so funny! He's really just a glorified protector for your iPod but since when has any protector looked this funky eh?!

Apparently he "sits" quite comfortably in the dock and is completely posable.

I know, nothing when compared to the "body bag" post but hey..

Now back to my damn server problems :(

Demon Dollies and other Super (natural) Stuff

2005-08-22T22:11:00.000+01:00

I'm not a religeous man, but I do have a healthy fear of the unknown (having spent time in a house reputed to be hainted and having some weird shit happen that I can't explain), but I'm not sure what to make of someone selling a Possessed Demonic Doll on eBay! There's a big long story there with loads of horror flick cliches, good for a read. I think the scariest thing though are the lighting effects! Hokey! Take a look at the other haunted and posessed dolls on this Seller's Page. The lighting is a bit like a B movie, but i won;t slag it off too much... just in case... :o)

There's a good few more other weird items on tht page, my personal favourites being the Deadly Black Magic in a Bag "Is it really harmless? Buy it and find out!", that was found in a hairdressing salon in San Diego by a worker "while the owner was at home dying from the bags effects"! And.. "Before the curse was disarmed, it was responsible for the salon owner's biologically inexplicable near death experience, one heart attack to a family member's husband, two serious car accidents, numerous very ugly nightmares and one sighting of a dark mainifest thought form standing at the foot of a family member's bed at 3:00 am in the morning."

The Baby Jesus has a nice story but the most practical would have to be the Two Handed Witches Ritual Sword. I could make good use of that one straight away!

So, any weird tales from the other side from our readers? I'd say a few have had a dark manifest at the foot of their beds at 3am, but not of the supernatural kind!

Dead Like Me

2005-08-20T20:46:00.000+01:00

Been out on the razz all last night? Feel like death? Even worse, feel like you look like death? Well never fear! Forget all that Revlon, Maybeline and other cheap crap, you need Corpse Cosmetics! Makes you look and feel human again!

And to really set off your stunning new look, why not get a Body Bag? Now, fair enough if someone wants to sell this online, but when they say "Human Remains Vinyl Body Bag And Other Uses" one has to wonder what other uses you might put it to! A sleeping bag for you incontinent granny? Load it up with baby oil and... ehh... moisturise intensively? *ahem* Pity they don't make them in double sizes...

Strange Suggestions

2005-08-16T20:26:00.000+01:00

I was browsing about last night for a fat new hard disk and a wireless network card, and was getting prices on Amazon. You know the way they make suggestions for you based on past purchaes and all that? Well, what have wireless NICs and routers (some previous purchases) got to do with Shaven Nudes?

On the left side, it thinks I may be interested in a book of "Shaven Angels 2". Well, who am I to argue? Needless to say I HAD to click on the link and see what this was about, and then click to see what Shaven Angels 3 was about, and then before I know it, Amazon in it's wisdom thinks that I should "Buy Shaven Angels 2 with Shaven Beauty Mystery today! ". Well, OK! The problem is, now every time I look on Amazon it's suggesting all sorts of nakedness to me! It is most distracting!

Actually, what bothered me most about these books is the price differential between Amazon UK and US (I had a look on the .com site for the sake of you US folk). SA2 is £43 in the UK, about $73, but on the US site it's $113!

I can always say I was looking for a book on Shaven Angles due to my beard style ;o)

Funky Retro Phone Adaptor!

2005-08-16T16:18:00.000+01:00

I know, I know.. I've been a BAD blogger recently.. (Yes yes, get all those naughty spanking comments out of your system early!)

Anyway, down to the point of this blog!

The "Retro Phone Handset"

Here's the description from the site:
"Yeah, we know all about bluetooth headsets for cell phones, but forget that stuff! We have here the latest development in cell phone technology and it's a big hunk of beautiful plastic. An accessory for your phone that you can really grab onto. Something with heft and that good-old-American solid construction feel - like a 1972 Cadillac.

The Retro Phone Handset is a new production replica of the Western Electric 500-series model, which was the classic phone handset for several decades. It's been slightly modified to work with the headset jack of most cell phones (or via a "hands free" adapter kit, sold elsewhere). Just plug-in and dial - or for added effect, put your cell phone in your pant's pocket - then it looks like you're talking on a phone connected to... well, who knows? "

This thing looks so cool. It's bigger than most peoples whole phone! Imagine the face on the person beside you on the bus when you take the handset out of your bag and answer the phone like you are sitting on the chair at home.

Infact I don't even think my house phone is that big! Now, let the spanking comments begin!